Remembering Marilyn Naparst, 86, dancer, artist, activist, free spirit
Marilyn Naparst, Might 3, 1935 – Jan. 23, 2022
A Berkeley resident of 65 years, Marilyn Naparst died on Jan. 23 surrounded by her household at Kaiser Hospital in Oakland, because the solar was setting over the East Bay hills. She had been an unbiased and spirited 86-year-old dwelling alone in her beloved Craftsman dwelling in North Berkeley till an enormous stroke in August 2021. Between lengthy hospitalizations we have been capable of deliver her dwelling with 24-hour take care of six weeks, which included Halloween. That night, we dressed her in Halloween finery, introduced her to the entrance porch, and there she sat in her wheelchair with a bowl of sweet in her lap for the numerous youngsters passing by. Although she wasn’t capable of discuss, we’re positive that she loved herself, as a result of Marilyn delighted in youngsters and in Halloween.
Marilyn (nee Avrushin) was born in Detroit on Might 3, 1935, an solely little one raised by a staff of three: her mom, Marion, her father Harry, and her maternal Aunt Bea. She grew up in a secular and culturally Jewish household, surrounded by immigrants from Jap Europe. She graduated from Central Excessive Faculty and was one of many first in her household to attend school, graduating from Wayne State College with a double main in Historical past and Sociology. Itching to flee Detroit throughout the repressive Nineteen Fifties, Marilyn thought of becoming a member of the International Service, as an alternative choosing a transfer to Berkeley to attend the social work program at UC Berkeley. She moved into an residence on Durant Avenue with a good friend from Detroit. Realizing that she’d favor to show over social work, she switched to the educating credential program and graduated in 1960. Whereas at school, Marilyn labored as a secretary at Cutter Labs and the UC Berkeley California Alumni Affiliation. Shortly after arriving in Berkeley, Marilyn met Stan Naparst at a graduate pupil occasion. He was additionally a migrant from out of state, raised by Jewish immigrants within the Bronx, 6-foot-5, tall, darkish and good-looking. In 1959 they have been married, and by 1965 they’d had three youngsters.
Within the early years, Marilyn ran a licensed daycare in her dwelling. As soon as the youngest of us was born, she devoted herself to being a homemaker. A daily on the Virginia-McGee Totland Playground, she fell in with a small circle of buddies – different mothers of younger youngsters — with whom she stayed shut for numerous years to come back. Not content material to only keep at dwelling whereas elevating us, she was an energetic volunteer at our public faculties. Many an hour was spent within the pale inexperienced VW bus, ferrying us to pottery courses, music classes, Hebrew Faculty at Congregation Beth Israel, Camp Kee Tov, and pleasant summer season forays to Strawberry Canyon Pool the place she’d give every of us cash to purchase a deal with on the merchandising machines and would decline our invites to come back into the pool out of concern of mussing her fastidiously tamed head of very curly hair. Talking of Marilyn’s hair, it remained largely jet-black for the remainder of her life. For individuals who questioned whether or not she dyed it, the reply is no! She simply had good non-graying hair genes.
Little did Marilyn know when she moved to the considerably conservative and sleepy college city of Berkeley in 1957 of the seismic cultural/social/political transformations that may happen simply seven years later in 1964 impressed by the Free Speech Motion. Certainly, transferring to Berkeley was future for this free and unconventional spirit known as Marilyn. If ever there was a “Soulmate Metropolis” for an individual, Berkeley was “it” for Marilyn. It was as if Marilyn and Berkeley got here into their very own and got here of age collectively. It’s thus no surprise that two of us youngsters are proud members of the Fb group “Your Mother Is So Berkeley.”
Whereas busy elevating us, Marilyn additionally managed to search out the time and power to dive headfirst into all that Berkeley needed to supply. She turned a potter and took portray courses. Her love of intense coloration reveals in her many work. Clearly impressed by Matisse, she painted one portrait of Stan with a vibrant inexperienced beard, which I name “the lettuce beard.” She developed a vibrant clothes aesthetic that stayed along with her for years, adorning herself with vibrant colours, dangly earrings, beaded necklaces. At occasions her selection of colours and patterns appeared to conflict, but she was all the time capable of pull it off.
Marilyn joined a feminist consciousness elevating group and was a steady subscriber to Ms. Journal from the very first problem. She and Stan introduced the household to political protests and efficiency occasions of every kind. She immersed herself in Bay Space experimental theatre. She beloved music of every kind, and in reality was one of many first individual in her circle to find new music. At some point within the mid-’70s she got here dwelling holding a Reggae album, proclaiming excitedly “that is Reggae!” (mispronouncing the phrase with the accent on the second syllable). Within the late ’70s she volunteered for a pair years at Middle for Artistic Progress in Oakland, an arts program for adults with developmental disabilities. On the dinner desk she would regale us with heartwarming and humorous anecdotes, and we held on each phrase. We thought her to be the best, prettiest, hippest mother round.
Marilyn was additionally an enthusiastic member of the legendary Berkeley Co-op. We youngsters vividly bear in mind when she stopped shopping for Fortunate Charms and Cap’n Crunch after the co-op publication revealed an expose about sugared cereals. A lot to our dismay, there was solely whole-grain low-sugar cereal from then on out. On the time, we have been crestfallen. Now we’re all health-conscious eaters who understand that it was a profound turning level in our dietary histories. Talking of which, Marilyn was one of many first to find natural produce, lengthy earlier than it turned trendy. She snacked on nuts and fruits and sprouts, typically saying that she was actually a vegetarian at coronary heart. That mentioned, a filet of salmon all the time turned her head. As did a Barney’s hamburger once in a while, too.
Marilyn’s grandest creative ardour by far was dancing: Greek folkdancing, stomach dancing, Flamenco, Zydeco dancing, and fashionable dance. Her love of Greek folkdancing spanned over 50 years. She was a daily on the legendary Aitos in Berkeley, Papa’s Taverna on the Petaluma River, Greek festivals all through the Bay Space, and the weekly GreekFeet dance courses each Monday night time in San Francisco till the COVID lockdown. She found Flamenco in her 50s and continued for a few years as an avid pupil, generally performing along with her fellow college students below the stage title “Marilu.” Among the many treasures present in Marilyn’s home are stunning Flamenco and stomach dance costumes, some do-it-yourself by her. When aerobics got here on the scene within the early ’80s, Marilyn was one of many first devotees, attending courses always She beloved going out dancing at Ashkenaz and La Peña. She as soon as described herself as a “kinetic individual” who simply HAD to maneuver.
Over the course of a few years Marilyn studied with a veritable “Who’s Who” of Bay Space theatrical and creative luminaries and establishments together with Ruth Zaporah’s Motion Theatre, trapeze with Terry Sendgraff, potter Andree Thompson, the Richmond Arts Middle, Bob Ernst Lab Theater, Leonard Pitt, Irini Nadel, and her beloved Friday morning girls’s group with Elaine Schooley on the John Hinkel Park Clubhouse. Not solely did Marilyn take courses, she additionally carried out. In 1981 she carried out in Cinderella…If the Shoe Matches on the Intersection Theatre in SF and in Ladies & Different Ladies on the Skylight Studio in Berkeley. In 1982, she carried out in Roar. Her crowning achievement was to star in a play known as Dawn Over Chicago on the Blake Road Hawkeyes in 1984 – the place Whoopi Goldberg had gotten her begin. As Marilyn instructed it, after one present Whoopi herself got here and gave her a congratulatory hug. In 1993 she and Stan traveled to NYC, the place she carried out in a sequence of reveals directed by Ruth Zaporah. Most memorable was that it was Stan’s final journey to his hometown.
Not solely an artist, Marilyn was additionally an arts aficionado, subscribing to varied native corporations and attending performances of every kind: Berkeley Rep, Aurora Theatre, Zellerbach, Magic Theatre, Eureka Theatre, The Artwork Home. She additionally beloved going to the flicks and museums and was a member of BAMPFA. She took particular enjoyment of subscribing to the Berkeley Playhouse for a number of years, seeing virtually each family-friendly musical each created with my daughter and me. And impressed by a household connection to Kazakhstan, she found the Silk Street Home cultural middle in Berkeley and have become a loyal common, attending all types of movies and lectures.
As soon as we have been college age, Marilyn returned to the paid workforce in her late 30s and spent a few years doing secretarial work, together with at Gillick Printing, Andronico’s Park & Store firm headquarters, then changing into the primary worker at finance firm BARRA and ultimately the workplace supervisor. When Stan turned ailing with most cancers, she left that job with a view to simplify her life. From then on, she labored in varied secretarial positions, together with The Nature Firm, Berkeley Dependancy Therapy Companies, and a legislation workplace. She labored on the legislation workplace half-time till the age of 84, when the workplace closed because of the Covid lockdown.
As soon as we three youngsters had launched as adults, Marilyn and Stan loved their freedom by touring. Their wanderlust took them a number of occasions to Mexico, in addition to to Spain and Israel to go to me after I was dwelling overseas.
When Stan died in 1994, Marilyn was solely 59 years previous, nonetheless with boundless power and a protracted life forward of her. She continued on world adventures, touring to Morocco, to Greece on a music and dance tour, and to Turkey on a music tour. Having spent a few years having fun with creative pursuits, and casting about for a solution to dwell meaningfully in her widowhood, she additionally discovered a brand new calling as a political activist. Stan had been very energetic politically, together with as an elected member of the Alameda County Democratic Central Committee and president of his union SEIU 616. So, it was as if she was persevering with his legacy, AND in true Marilyn fashion, diving headfirst into it. She took a particular curiosity in social justice points pertaining to Latin America, and through the years made many a political mission journey with varied teams to Cuba and different international locations, which I referred to jokingly/lovingly as her “left-wing fact-finding missions.” She was notably dedicated to Marin Interfaith Activity Power on the Americas and IFCO/Pastors for Peace. She made the jaunt as much as Seattle in 1999 for the “Battle of Seattle” WTO protests and took half in lots of political protests and marches within the Bay Space. She was energetic in Code Pink – Ladies for Peace. One among her favourite traditions was to hitch the vigil each Monday afternoon in entrance of the Oaks Theatre constructing on the prime of Solano, the place a gaggle of largely senior rabblerousers would maintain indicators with slogans comparable to “Honk If You Help Single-Payer Healthcare” and sing political protest songs led by Hali Hammer. She may very well be discovered attending any variety of political conferences at venues comparable to The Lengthy Haul, Niebyl-Proctor Marxist Library and the Berkeley Unitarian Fellowship.
Whereas busy with work, political exercise, and varied creative pursuits, Marilyn all the time discovered time for family and friends. In reality, being within the presence of family members all the time sustained Marilyn like meals and water. Whereas she beloved us three youngsters very a lot, she adored her three grandchildren past measure and was utterly dedicated to them. Delighting within the shut connection along with her one grandchild within the Bay Space, she didn’t let the three,000-mile distance get in the best way of connecting along with her different two grandchildren, both making the journey to NYC each time she may to go to them or gleefully internet hosting them at her dwelling. Marilyn was a real extrovert who had a starvation for human connection.
Dwelling alone for over 25 years after Stan’s dying, she spent a lot of her day out of the home with a view to search out these human connections, whether or not or not it’s brunch at Café Leila with buddies, a political assembly or march, or happening outings with household. In fact, Marilyn had an openness and spontaneity about her that was uncommon and would fortunately say “sure” to only about any invitation.
She dated just a few different males through the years, but none ever matched the expertise of rootedness and companionship that she had discovered with Stan, who known as her “the sunshine of my life.”
Whereas being an unconventional and free-spirited soul, Marilyn additionally embodied some very conventional values. She arrived punctually, returned cellphone calls promptly, balanced her checkbook each month and stored meticulous information on the whole lot. She all the time introduced an providing to social gatherings, and known as to say “thanks” very quickly afterward. She knew her method round a Singer stitching machine and made many garments, together with pants within the early ’70s with impossibly large bell bottoms, nonetheless in her closet and hopefully in style once more sometime quickly. She was sensible, too, convincing Stan that they need to purchase a home slightly than lease, resulting in the 1965 buy of the household dwelling, which stays a cherished “member of our household” to at the present time. And she or he served do-it-yourself household dinners each night time till Stan died, albeit generally augmented with Rice-A-Roni or Hamburger Helper.
There are a lot of superlatives that come to thoughts when excited about Marilyn. She was typically the funniest individual within the room, with an beautiful sense of the absurd. She was a charming storyteller who would break into laughter whereas sharing a humorous anecdote, so infectious that everybody else would begin guffawing alongside along with her method earlier than the punchline. She was beneficiant to a fault, coming back from her worldwide adventures with a veritable treasure trove of tchotchkes, which she would lay out on the lounge flooring for members of the family to take, and arriving at my doorstep on weekend mornings laden with baggage of treats. She had a really soothing contact and may have missed her true calling as a hands-on healer or physique employee. Marilyn held robust opinions about virtually each matter, together with these of consequence comparable to water rights for indigenous folks in Bolivia and people maybe not of a lot consequence, such because the ending to the tune Let it Go from the movie Frozen. By the best way, she didn’t just like the ending, and would share that opinion each time the movie got here up in dialog. “Great!” and “Horrible!” have been probably essentially the most oft-repeated phrases in her lexicon, generally in the identical sentence.
It wouldn’t be a becoming tribute to Marilyn with out point out that, effectively, she wasn’t excellent. Born with a delicate temperament and formed by difficult life experiences, Marilyn was an individual of nice emotional depth who generally mentioned and did issues that rubbed different folks the mistaken method. Normally these actions have been an try to hunt out better human connection or to be heard. Marilyn simply wished to like and to be beloved; she simply didn’t all the time have the talents to fulfill these wants within the typical methods. Some of us slipped away after being in her presence throughout these not-so-good moments and not-so-good days. But for these of us who caught round – and there have been many – it was all the time value it, as a result of the enjoyment of Marilyn on an excellent day and in an excellent second was a fairly intoxicating elixir.
Although the solitude of the lockdown was devastating to Marilyn, she discovered methods to manage, with fixed double-masked buying forays to Dealer Joe’s and Andronico’s and Berkeley Bowl and Monterey Market, jaunts as much as Solano Avenue to window store and discuss to each single individual with a canine or child, and socially distanced get-togethers with household. She additionally found the wonders of TV, changing into an avid fan of The Voice and American Idol. By no means a tech wizard, she discovered Zoom difficult, however was capable of take part in occasional video calls with household and social occasions, together with weight-lifting calls with me. And she or he relished each day cellphone calls from us youngsters.
Marilyn is survived by her daughters, Lise and Diana; son, Tom; grandchildren, Monica, Noah and Lila; great-granddog Maddie (whom she all the time greeted with “oh my little sweetheart”); first cousins, Pat Treeful, Nancy Slutsky, Joel Gayman and Miriam Kottler; varied different cousins; and lots of comrades/buddies within the arts and social justice worlds.
Donations in Marilyn’s reminiscence might be made to Deliberate Parenthood, Ms. Journal, Marin Interfaith Activity Power on the Americas, IFCO/Pastors for Peace, Ashkenaz Music & Dance Middle, La Peña Cultural Middle, KPFA, Silk Street Home or the Sierra Membership.
Marilyn’s memorial service and celebration of life are but to be scheduled. Within the meantime, be happy to rejoice in her honor. Dance to Greek folks music. Purchase one thing at an unbiased bookstore. Say hello to somebody in line on the financial institution or grocery retailer and get their complete life story whereas telling yours. Attend a political march. Say “sure” enthusiastically to an invite.
Many have described Marilyn as a “pressure of nature.” Might Marilyn’s reminiscence proceed to bless and encourage all who knew her. We are going to enormously miss her raucous giggle, passionate spark, quirkiness, joie de vivre, spontaneity, adventurousness and, most of all, her beneficiant loving spirit.
